The four of us

A journal entry written to Gracee recently:

Gracee,

This has been a hard transition for you and I. Normally, we are the center of each other's little worlds during the daytime--now we share it with your little brother. It's been a little tricky...A couple of days after Joey was born, I was lying in you bed singing to you. We started the first song and you were trying to sing it with me but kept making that frowny face you make when you are starting to cry but trying not to. After the first song, you said with a shaky voice, "make Gracee sad to sing with mama?" And I knew instantly what you meant by that because I was feeling similarly. I asked you why. You were struggling to find the words. I said, "Does it make you sad because you miss me?" You said, "Uh huh." I said I missed you too. I said we could play tea party together just you and me the next morning. I also said we could lay together for naps again tomorrow.

The validation and expression of your feelings seemed to take a huge weight off your chest. You gave a huge sigh and seemed much more content after that.

It was such a sweet moment. You are so good at communicating your feelings and needs. I just love you so much--it's hard to even describe how much.

(end of entry)

She has been increasingly more adjusted ever since this moment. A couple days ago, we went just the four of us, up the canyon. We had a dinner picnic and played at the park and threw rocks into Provo river, Joey slumbering peacefully in his car seat by the river. Russ's paternity leave and my time off work has been a real blessing and has helped to let it click for all of us what it feels like to be a new size--the four of us. She's also enjoying Joey's new-found alertness the past couple days. I think that combined with her realization that he really just eats and sleeps and that other than that, things are mostly just the same as they were before--has helped her to feel okay with it. Now let's see if we can get mommy to a point where I can lift her onto swings, pull her in the wagon, and take her on walks...and we'll be good to go! We've depended so much on our friends and family right now to fill in those little gaps to put little bursts of fun into Gracee's days. We are sooooooooooooo thankful for the help!

Love, the four of us