(My journal entry from today...sorry if it's a downer, just being honest)
11-11-11
Pretty cool huh? The date won't look that cool again until next year on December 12th!!!
What a rough week. This may be my hardest week as a mom yet. Both kids have been sick all week, and now Russ too. I have been trying to spend a lot of good time with Gracee so she wouldn't notice what a cooped up week it's been. Yesterday I wasn't able to do as much because I had to take care of miserable Joey EVERY second of the day. He was feverish and sore from a shot the day before and wouldn't even let me put him down. Gracee has been acting out and disobeying every second she can think of something to disobey about ever since. I texted Russ today and told him that I've totally forgotten how to be a good mother and that I hope I don' t scar Gracee for life. He took it as a joke, but I was mostly serious. My patience runs so thin after 6 grueling days of this. I wish I could say I've already learned how to take things in stride and not let things get to me, but I'm not there yet. I dug deep so many times today for inner strength and prayed a bunch. I know this is the most important work I can be doing right now, so I really am interested in doing it right...well, as right as I can muster anyway.
Thanks for listening.
3 comments:
Aw... Sus, we all feel that way sometimes. And you can't be the most horrible mom cuz I've already claimed that role. PS - I'm hoping to have things in order to do dance class for the girls next month.
Sus - you are a wonderful mom. No other job in the world is so all-encompassing as being a mom. It is so hard sometimes. All mom's know it but seem to think they can't admit it. Thanks for being honest. I love you and one thing I know for sure: kids are forgiving and resilient. Your positive effects on your family always far outweigh any negatives. ALWAYS.
Hang in there! I find that one day I have felt pretty successful at being the mom I want to be, only to find that the next day I am completely out of sync. Gracee will be fine and don't be too hard on yourself. It is so hard when both of them need your full attention. Miss you!
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